Rejoicing & Mourning

I am still rejoicing that Joe accepted the Lord when our Bible Study group interceded in prayer. We are also rejoicing that he has already gone home to be with his new Lord. We mourn with our sister, Linda, who will miss him. Now all 5 of her brothers are with the Lord, to her knowledge. She & her sister are still here.

I am rejoicing that our lambing season has begun & 2 new lambs are wobbling near their mother ewes tonight. Louis & I are mourning that only 1 lamb survived each set of triplets born yesterday. Four little cold, wooly bodies are bagged & waiting for garbage day because we were not expecting their arrival until March. The ewes had not developed full bags, as they usualiy do before delivery. They also had continued to eat well the evening before the night births, so we were not tipped off that we needed to check any of the ewes closely. God was merciful to spare one lamb for each ewe.

I rejoice that God allowed us the joys of parenting via adoption. We mourn that Esther has decided to move to live with her birth Dad, Jason. We release her to the Lord, knowing He can continue to woo her to Himself in Virginia, as well as here in Montana. Esther's last day at Staples is March 4th - Purim of all things! Esther's feast! Jason has bought a ticket for her from Spokane on March 13th. Tempus Fugit!!

Love & Respect

Two week-ends ago, Missoula hosted a "Love & Respect" Conference for couples. Emerson Eggerich's organization was not sure if it could break even in Montana. Although there were 1600 seats available, they expected no more than 600-800 to be filled. Surprise! Not only did the conference sell-out, more & more couples (especially from Canada) were still calling trying to get into the conference after it was sold-out. Several near-by states were well-represented, in addition to numerous Canadians. Louis & I knew we couldn't attend since much of the conference was on Shabbat, when we lead Beth Tephila. So, Louis went on-line & purchased the set of 4 cassette tapes. Emerson reads his book to you on these cassettes..."Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs."

The second & third trips I drove to Spokane recently, zipped by while I listened to these tapes. Louis had already listened to them while driving to & from work. They are now on loan to my sister, who heard two of the tapes while on the second trip with me.

The content is organized into three cycles:
1. The Crazy Cycle - with which nearly all married couples are all too familiar. She doesn't feel loved, so she doesn't react with respect. He doesn't feel respected, so he doesn't react with love. They each step on the airhose needed for the mate to be able to breathe properly. She needs love to breathe & he needs respect to breathe. It goes round & round in most homes, even though both spouses are well-intentioned, at least at the beginning of the interaction. They do not understand each others comments, because the same words do not mean the same thing to each of them. ie. She says, "I don't have anything to wear." (Meaning, I don't have anything new to wear.) He says, " I don't have anything to wear." (Meaning, I don't have anything clean to wear.)

2. The Energizing Cycle - with which a spouse can stop the crazy cycle & energize her/his mate. Emerson gives 2 six-letter acronyms to help a spouse remember what energizes the mate. Men are to remember the acronym "COUPLE" & women are to remember "CHAIRS". I focused on the CHAIRS: C - Men are made for conquest... so support your man in his work &/or other challenges in life.
H - stands for hierarchy. The man is held most responsible for the marriage by God, so he should hold the final authority on making decisions... after getting input from her, of course. They are equal before Him, just with differing roles.
A - represents the appreciation, which he also feels as "respect", that he craves as much as the air he breathes.
I - is for the insight men have so that they are not as easily deceived as women - even with all our intuition. She should be willling to listen to & even ask for that insight from him.
R - represents the relationship that he wants. It is usually summed up in his mind as "shared experiences".
S - sex is the last but not least item of male energizers. God made men with a need for sexual release. If she withholds sex from her spouse, she sets him up for huge temptations. Men also spell "intimacy" as sex. Women spell it as "heart to heart talking".

3. The Rewarded Cycle - is the best part of Emerson's book/tape. Each spouse is expected by God to give unconditional love to her or unconditional respect to him. Why? Because our responses to each other are not really about the mate at all. They are all about our relationship to Jesus. No matter what our spouse does or does not do, we can still react appropriately with the help of the Holy Spirit. It's a matter of spiritual maturity. How we respond to any irritant only reveals who we are inside. If your mate never reacts correctly back, that does not take you off the hook. If you are not rewarded for your correct responses on this earth, you will definitely receive His rewards in heaven, for such unconditional love or respect is what pleases Him!!

All the above points were "fleshed-in" with numerous examples & Scriptural passages. I recommend the book, tapes or conference to anyone who wants to strengthen their marriage.

Safely home with Esther

Just after passing the 10,000 Silver Dollar Cafe in the Haugen area of Lost Trail Pass, I saw rescuers trying to get to a white 4x4 vehicle that had skidded off the road & turned over on its top. A few miles later, west-bound traffic was routed along a secondary route due to a large accident between a semi-truck & one or more vehicles which spread parts all over the highway for a quarter of a mile. Except for those two accidents that both happened just before I drove through the snowy pass on my way to Spokane, my trip to pick up Esther was uneventful. Esther arrived as scheduled at the airport & we both coughed our way through the first part of the night as Esther shared about her experiences in Virginia. (My viral symptoms had returned during my previous trip to Spokane & Esther had picked up a different virus while in the Norfolk area.) Despite the hacking, the night was one of the most intimate times we have shared for a long time. Esther related not just facts, but feelings & impressions & gratefulness for her Montana up-bringing. I rubbed her back & silently thanked the Lord for this quiet time to be with her before she moves completely across the country.

If I can get a couple of the photos she had taken with her birth father & family, I'll try to post them. (They are added now. These were taken while Esther was in Virginia. The photo on the right is of Esther in the back, her birth dad, Jason, & his fiance, Elizabeth in the center & Esther's 1/2 sister, Sarah in the front. Added to the left photo are: Jason's brother, Neal, between Jason & Elizabeth; Jason's parents in the center; Neal's son in front of Esther & Sarah.)

We coughed our way back home... over snowy passes again, but without difficulty. Esther had to be at work at Staples by noon today & we made it in time. Someone had siphoned the gas from her car, so she sputtered her way to Staples from her apartment. I left the Yukon & prayed the Grand Am from Staples to Costco, with a flashing light & a binging alarm letting me know that we were running only on fumes. The gas gauge was below empty. PTL! for small miracles such as getting to the gas station.

Esther is still in Virginia with her birth Dad, although she has tried to get out of the airport there on a couple of different days without success. I finally drove back home from Spokane without her. Her next tentatively scheduled flight to Spokane is on Sunday.

She plans on being home for only a couple of weeks. She & Jason (birth Dad) have decided that she should move to Virginia. She already gave notice at Staples over the phone before she told us of the plans. So I don't say or do anything dumb, I'm just praying a lot.

Neighborhood Bible Study Outreach

My neighbor, Linda, usually hosts our Thursday Precepts Bible Study in her lovely home that overlooks the Bitterroot Valley. Two weeks ago, she & her husband drove to Missouri to visit her eighty year-old brother, who is dying of cancer. Joe is the last of her five brothers. All five were fighting in WWII at the same time, but Joe was the only one to come back hardened & scarred. (One died in the war,though.) Joe has never wanted to hear the gospel from Linda or other family members. During this visit, whenever Linda would try to talk about the Lord, Joe would make a flippant remark & turn to the wall. He is bedridden & looks like a concentration camp prisoner at this point. Joe has refused hospice care or help, as well. Linda returned home discouraged & afraid that Joe was beyond "saving."

Before our study, Linda heard from her niece that she would try one more time to talk to Joe about the Lord if we would support her in prayer. So while the niece shared Jesus with Joe in Missouri, seven women prayed for his salvation in Montana. After 10 minutes or so, we continued the rest of our study. Around supper time, Linda called me rejoicing. Miracle of miracles, Joe not only listened to his niece but also asked Jesus into his life!! How privileged we were to be a small part of this transformation. Don't give up on any of your relatives or friends who still need to know the Lord. Their salvation may only be a few prayers away also.

God's creativity at work

I've been waking up around 3 a.m. recently, so I have the chance to have some great heart to heart talks with the Shepherd. Last night I turned over several areas, asking God to use Louis & me in His way & at His timing.

We were awakened a few hours later by a phone call from a desperate Mom from Indiana asking for our help. "We are Reformed Jews & know you are Messianic, but we need someone to help our son who is a Junior at the University in Missoula. We Jews should stick together, right?" she began. Her son has about three days to do 16 hours of community service for a church or synagogue or he will be sent to jail. She gave us some particulars and the phone number of her son, Ryan. We also got the phone number of the lady handling his court case in Indiana. A couple of hours & numerous other calls followed. The court case manager faxed the paperwork needed to our bank & we lined up 16 hours or more of work for Ryan. By 10:30 Louis had zipped through the animal chores, prepared for work & left to meet Ryan at Lolo Community Church... 2 large lox & bagel sandwiches in hand. Louis supervised the snow-shoveling job there until almost time for him to leave for work. I came to take his place just as they were finishing the lox & bagels. Since Ryan liked the sandwich, my intro. went smoothly as the sandwich-maker. For three hours we chatted on & off as Ryan completed the shoveling of the parking lot, split & stacked some wood for the Rocky MT Mission office & mopped the floor of the church gym. We drank some hot chocolate about half-way through to warm-up & further break the ice in getting to know each other. Tomorrow Ryan will meet us at Lincoln School Baptist Church where Beth Tephila meets. We are not creative enough to think up this scenario for reaching out to Jewish students in our area. God is! (The few signs we have posted on campus are torn down within hours of their posting. We have received only one or two calls from the publicity ads in the campus paper, etc.)

Cantus Firmus

I've just read an article by Jill Carattini about how the telling of our life stories or narrating the biography of someone else is full of awe & complexities. She quotes Roger Lundin, a biographer. To be able to recognize the competing claims & the intricate complexity of human motivation is a gift & a necessity for writing a good biography, just as it is a necessity for understanding fairly & creatively & justly another human life. The task of putting our life or someone else's into words is more difficult than we often admit. How would you describe a deceased grandparent to children who never met that loved one? The lives of historical or Biblical characters are equally challenging. Jill then quoted some from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who spoke in musical terms as he tried to describe his life to a friend. He introduced the idea that life cannot be reduced to one note or a monotone. The cantus firmus, meaning "fixed song", is a pre-existing melody that forms the basis of a polyphonic composition. Though the song ushers in twists in pitch & style, counterpoint & refrain, the cantus firmus is the enduring melody not always in the forefront, but always playing somewhere within the composition. For Dietrich Bonhoeffer, life was a great work of sounds & symphonic directions, & the cantus firmus was the essence, the soul of the concerto. God wants us to love him eternally with our whole hearts, not in such a way as to injure or weaken earthly life, but to provide a kind of cantus firmus to which the other melodies of life provide the counterpoint. One of these contrapunctal themes is earthly affection... Where the cantus firmus is clear & plain, the counterpoint can be developed to its limits. (1)

Bonhoeffer was facing execution as he confessed life to be an awe-inspiring symphony, a melody to behold with attention & appreciation for a great array of intricate choruses. In this intricacy, there is no better song composed than one that finds as its ground bass a wholehearted love of God. Where the enduring melody of life itself is a tune written & played for God, the composition can resound even to heaven. This type of melody endures beyond the chorister who sang it.

When Jesus spoke of life, he spoke of multiple realms, of life as it is on earth & in heaven. Like a great composition, there are layers to faith & belief, communion & the Kingdom, story & song. There is a sense in which all of our stories are similar, written by the great composer of music and sound. And yet each song is also uniquely our own. For me, as no doubt for you, there have been minor sounds when God seems absent or life seems removed from any chorus of hope. Then again, there have also been moments when the cantus firmus of truth & love resounds in major tones & God comes near in the doxology.

So how do we tell the story of a human life? How do we articulate counterpoints & melodies & tempos? Like the one after God's own heart, perhaps we start with the song at the center of our own souls, as we listen for the arrangement in our neighbors':
By day the LORD directs His love,
at night His song is with me -
a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42:8

His presence is the cantus firmus, set in the deepest center of a life, discovered & held over a lifetime. His love is the enduring melody that puts our stories to song.

(1) Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters & Papers from Prison ( New York: Simon & Schuster, 1997), page 303.