New Driver & Learning Love Languages

Hurrah! Esther flew through her driver's testing in 15 minutes, the day after Memorial Day. She was even complimented on her parking skills by the examiner! So Esther is proudly driving herself to Basketball Camp this week, Volleyball Camp next week..and hopefully to a summer job once her two camps are over. I'm watching to see how long her extreme carefulness and love affair with her 2000 red Pontiac Grand Am will last. Speaking about love affairs, in our counseling & reading for each session, Louis and I have found that we speak entirely different love languages. He is essentially trilingual in "Physical Touch", "Words of Affirmation", & "Quality Time". I rate conversant mainly in "Acts of Service" and don't appear to value the "Physical Touch" much at all. His other two languages I value moderately, but no where near the top as he does in expressing and receiving emotional love. No wonder we were struggling at showing each other the love we really felt & thought it wasn't returned very well. We spoke different languages which automatically created confusion and misunderstanding in our marriage. Have you read about these love languages, as Gary Chapman defined them in his 1990's book, "The Five Love Languages"? Louis would tell me as he gave me a hug, "Honey, you look great today." "I love you sooo much!" "It's wonderful that we can share this time together!" I would have taken time to make a delicious & healthy picnic lunch, driven the car since his back has been giving him sciatica and checked out the times the event was starting or lasting, etc. We are each using our primary love language and are assuming the other person is fully appreciating how much we love him/her. Multiply this by 33 years. I am wondering why Louis never "backs up" those hugs and words with completion of little tasks around the house that I asked if he could do months or years ago. I wonder if those hugs and words are meaningless since that is how they feel to me. He is wondering why he is always the initiator in holding hands or hugging, suggesting an event we can attend together, or saying those affirming words. I often catch on and respond, but never seem to think to express my love that way. We both end up feeling like the other is not really that loving of a spouse. You never speak different languages with your spouse, do you? Maybe "giving gifts" is one of your languages. That is not high on either Louis or my expression list. Anyway, we are learning these things now and starting to attempt speaking each other's languages. Stay tuned.

Your Suzie Homemaker Tip of the Day

When we were first given a computer by friends who upgraded theirs, I would read all the e-mail chatter. You know, the warm-fuzzy stories, the scary potential harmful things we ate, drank or wear, and all the tips. After several months I decided I didn't have time for all of these e-mails, which tended to recycle through in slightly different formats. Now, once-in-a-while a tip does catch my attention as worth the reading and implementing in my life. Here is one of them, which I will quote:
I had a wonderful morning, the heating unit went out on my dryer! Why does everything seem to fall apart this time of year!?? The guy that fixes things went into the dryer & pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. We always clean the lint from the filter after every load of clothes. He told us that he wanted to show us something. He took the filter over to the sink & ran hot water over it. Now, the lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. WELL... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh!!! It didn't go through it at all!!!
He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh & that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that??!! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share. Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it the water ran right through the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! That repair man knew what he was talking about.